An exhange about some problem students

I received an email from a middle school teacher. I present our exchange below with the teacher's permission:

Don't worry. We all go through this--especially with middle schoolers. (Right this minute, I'm typing this as a former middle school student of mine, now a substitute teacher, is sitting in front of me. This, too, shall pass.)

I have some suggestions in CAPS below, but I want to give some general philosophical ideas first: 1. Never do more than is necessary to get them to behave.
2. Let them hate you if they want, but make them behave while they do it. (Actually, they'll probably come around before the end of the year unless they have some extremely serious problems.)
3. Make the consequence (educators hate the word "punishment," but we can understand it if we want; I like the word "consequence," but I am willing to acquiesce to the idea that occasionally consequences may be close to punishment; I prefer that consequences be related to the action, and that's what distinguishes them from punishment for me) that they receive for their misbehavior be generally harder on them than it is on you.
4. Avoid showing your feelings. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Be cold if you need to be, but don't show your feelings to the misbehavers.
5. Generally avoid making specific threats. Non-specific threats are better. ("What will you do about it?" or "What will happen to us?" they may ask. "Whatever gets you to stop," you reply. "If what I do doesn't work, I'll do something slightly harder until I find what works for you." Or, you say, simply, "I'll decide later.") If you are too specific, they weigh cost/benefits, and you usually lose. Their imagination is worse than anything you can do, anyway.

The rest is below

-----Original Message-----
To: Combe, Jeffery
Subject: some problem students

I am having some problems in particular with several girls in my [last] class. Do you have any suggestions?

[THE LAST] PERIOD SHOULD BE EASY TO KEEP AFTER SCHOOL. GENERALLY, YOU MAY RETAIN STUDENTS FOR UP TO 15 MINUTES WITHOUT PARENT APPROVAL. FIVE MINUTES IS USUALLY ENOUGH FOR 7TH GRADERS. (THEY'LL ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT IT, BUT WHEN YOU POINT OUT TO THEM THAT YOU CAN KEEP THEM FOR 15 MINUTES WITHOUT APPROVAL, THEY GIVE UP. WITH APPROVAL, YOU MAY KEEP THEM AS LONG AS THE PARENTS ALLOW, THOUGH ONE HOUR IS STANDARD.) I RECOMMEND MAKING THEM SIT SILENTLY AND POLITELY; DON'T TIME THEM UNTIL THEY ARE SILENT AND POLITE. IF THEY BREAK IT BEFORE THE TIME IS UP, START OVER. (I USED THAT TECHNIQUE WITH MIDDLE SCHOOLERS.)

BE READY TO KEEP THEM EVERY DAY UNTIL THE BEHAVIOR STOPS. IT MAY TAKE A WEEK OR MORE.

ADD MINUTES FOR FURTHER MISBEHAVIOR. DON'T PROMISE TO TAKE MINUTES AWAY, THOUGH YOU MAY DO IT. DON'T SAY WHY, IF YOU DO; JUST LET THEM GO WHEN YOU'RE SATISFIED.


I have documented everything, and today was the last straw on misbehavior. I am calling home to 2 parents, but the third does not speak English.

CALLING THE PARENTS SHOULD BE AN EARLY INTERVENTION--ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU DO. USE IT TO GET PERMISSION TO KEEP THEM FOR LONGER PERIODS, IF NECESSARY. SOME MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHERS ASK THE PARENTS TO COME AND SIT IN CLASS WITH THEIR CHILDREN. IT'S A VERY EFFECTIVE TECHNIQUE AND NEVER HAS TO BE DONE MORE THAN TWICE--RARELY MORE THAN ONCE A YEAR.

THERE IS NO REQUIREMENT TO TELL THE STUDENTS THAT YOU ARE CALLING THEIR PARENTS, BUT IF YOU TELL THEM, YOU MUST MAKE THE CALL. NEVER SAY YOU'LL DO IT WITHOUT DOING IT.

THE SCHOOL HAS BILINGUAL AIDS THAT WILL MAKE THE CALL FOR YOU IF YOU WANT. ASK THE MAIN OFFICE. IF YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE, OR IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WAIT, CALL ME AT 213-200-9192, AND I'LL MAKE THE CALL (I'M FLUENT IN SPANISH).

I have even moved them, and they call me names (such as crazy) or use foul language when I ask them to do something (such as GOD DAMMIT WHY?). I know we are hinted not to send them out of the room, but it is as if I am clamping down they just get worse.

STATE LAW PROVIDES FOR A CLASSROOM SUSPENSION. YOU MAY HAVE A CHILD REMOVED FROM YOUR CLASSROOM FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY AND ALL THE FOLLOWING DAY. YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CONTACT THE PARENTS AND HAVE A CONFERENCE WITH THEM (OVER THE PHONE IS USUALLY ACCEPTABLE, BUT IN PERSON IS BETTER). WHEN STUDENTS CALL YOU NAMES OR REPEATEDLY USE FOUL LANGUAGE OR ARE "WILLFULLY DEFIANT OF VALID AUTHORITY," YOU MAY SUSPEND THEM. BE CAREFUL TO WORD YOUR REFERRALS WELL. DON'T GIVE TOO MUCH INFORMATION--JUST GIVE ENOUGH. IF "REPEATEDLY" DESCRIBES THE BEHAVIOR, THEN YOUR REFERRAL IS SELDOM QUESTIONED. "OPENLY DEFIANT" ALSO.

IT IS TRUE, HOWEVER, THAT IT IS BEST NOT TO SEND THEM OUT--NOT BECAUSE OF ADMINISTRATIVE DISAPPROVAL, BUT BECAUSE THE STUDENTS FREQUENTLY CONSIDER IT A MATTER OF HONOR TO BE KICKED OUT. THEY BELIEVE THEY HAVE BEATEN YOU WHEN YOU KICK THEM OUT, AND IT'S OFTEN A MIXED BLESSING AT BEST.

However, I am afraid they are going to run me over if I let this continue.

YOU'RE CORRECT. AS BAD AS IT IS NOW, IT WILL BE MUCH WORSE LATER, AND THEY WILL RECRUIT OTHERS TO JOIN THEM. YOU OWE IT TO THE GOOD STUDENTS TO CONTROL THESE GIRLS.

I am in tears after I type this, and I haven't been this way for 5 years.

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, EVEN THOUGH I'M A GUY.

They also lied ... and said i was a liar...etc.

IT'S A COMMON TECHNIQUE OF THE STUDENTS. OFFENSE IS THE BEST DEFENSE. TELL THEM YOU WILL DISCUSS IT AFTER SCHOOL, THEN (AFTER SCHOOL), TELL THEM YOU WILL DISCUSS IT IF THEY WANT TO STAY AFTER THEIR PRESCRIBED TIME OF DETENTION.

OR TELL THEM TO HAVE THEIR PARENTS CALL YOU, AND YOU WOULD BE PLEASED TO DISCUSS IT.

DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU THAT THEY CALLED YOU A LIAR, BUT DON'T LET IT GO WITHOUT A CONSEQUENCE ("WE'LL DISCUSS IT AFTER SCHOOL" IS USUALLY SUFFICIENT). YOU MIGHT REQUIRE THEM TO WRITE A NARRATIVE ESSAY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, TO BE INCLUDED IN THEIR GRADE.

They make gestures behind my back and refuse to work.

WE MAY DISCUSS YOUR POSITION IN THE CLASSROOM TO PREVENT THEIR BEING "BEHIND YOUR BACK." DO THEY SIT IN THE VERY FRONT? THAT WAY, YOU CAN BE BEHIND THEIR BACKS, AND IT'S INCONVENIENT FOR THEM TO MISBEHAVE WITHOUT CONSTANTLY LOOKING AROUND TO SEE WHERE YOU ARE.

YOU CAN'T FORCE STUDENTS TO WORK. YOU CAN MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THEM NOT TO WORK. WHEN MY STUDENTS REFUSED TO WORK, I WOULD NOT ALLOW THEM TO DO ANYTHING ELSE AT ALL. (THEY CLEARED THEIR DESKS COMPLETELY AND WERE NOT ALLOWED TO EVEN JOIN THE DISCUSSIONS FOR AT LEAST A DAY. IT WAS SO BORING, THEY USUALLY GAVE UP AND JOINED US THE NEXT DAY.) YOU MAY REQUIRE THEM TO HAVE THEIR WORK DONE CORRECTLY BEFORE THEY CAN BE EXCUSED. YOU MAY REQUIRE THEM TO STAY AFTER AND MAKE UP FOR THE TIME THEY WASTED IN CLASS.

I sent one girl next door because I just had to get them completely away from each other and out of the same room.

IF YOUR NEIGHBOR AGREES, THIS IS A USEFUL TECHNIQUE TO USE OCCASIONALLY.

Please send any suggestions you have.
Thank you!

I HOPE THE FEW SUGGESTIONS I GAVE ARE USEFUL. IF NOT, THERE ARE MORE. YOU MIGHT CONSIDER THE FRED JONES WEBSITE (ON CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE). (JUST GOOGLE "FRED JONES.")


JEFF COMBE