Self esteem, assets, and deficits

Hello everyone,

One last word (for now) about self esteem.

Sometimes our students' self esteem is affected by things beyond their control. They may perceive themselves as being less capable than they really are because they have no clear concept of where they fit into the world.

For instance, students in poverty may have few opportunities to go to museums or sporting events or live performances. They may seldom meet wealthy, powerful people. Their parents might be working long hours just to survive and may be unable to monitor their study or read to them. Lacking the opportunities to immerse themselves in the wider culture (through cultural enrichment, wide associations, travel, or literature), these students may not be able to gain a realistic appraisal of themselves. Hence, either low self-esteem or high self-delusion, both born out of unrealistic self-appraisal.

(Remember that financial poverty does not guarantee cultural poverty; I only allude to the possibility for the sake of illustration.)

How do we as educators overcome the problems of uncontrollable circumstance and unrealistic self-appraisal?

First, we must appraise our students accurately. They have the same inherent assets, on the average, as everyone else. Sometimes it seems that we must periodically remind ourselves of that.

Second, we must help them to see what assets they have. I think of "The Princess Bride," when the heroes are measuring their assets before a seemingly hopeless assault on a castle. The Dread Pirate Roberts listens in despair to lists of intelligence, steel, and strength, and says, "Too bad. If we only had a wheelbarrow and a doomsday robe." His companions reveal that they DID in fact have those objects but didn't consider them important, and he chides them, reminding them that they must never underestimate any asset they have. (The assault is successful, using all available assets.) Our students may be perfectly willing to suggest to us reasons they can't do something; we should help them find ways they CAN do something.

Third, we must not permit excuses. "I can't do it" is rarely true. I had a blind student in my film production class once. I cut him no breaks, but he got a good grade. Of course, he didn't operate the camera, but he was good at script and sound. I acknowledge freely that he really couldn't see; but I required him to do everything he could do, and I expected him to do those things at a high level.

Fourth, we must not let our students get discouraged at the amount of work that is required of them to achieve at their highest potential. What looks like laziness is more often despair. Keep their goals realistic and reachable; encourage them on the journey, and praise them when they reach their destination. Never let them believe that they are as bad as they feel when they've had a setback.

Finally, teach them that failure is a natural part of the process of success. Everyone experiences it. It is a useful, acquired skill to learn from failure and turn it into success. Every scientist knows that failure and success are equally important in discovery, and no success is possible without attendant failure. If they have any failure at all, they must simply press on to the inevitable success.

Human beings are generally able to accomplish far beyond their imagined capacity--despite obstacles--when they have someone who believes in them, especially if that person can teach them the skills they need to achieve those heights.


Jeff Combe