Student-Teacher Relationship, part 5 (Modeling behavior)

Hello everyone,

As you develop an appropriate student/teacher relationship with your students, it's important for you to model appropriate behavior with your students.

This may be different for your individual personality; you may rebel against it; it may be a little difficult for you to. But very often, if you find your students behaving a certain way, you may frequently trace their behavior back to behaviors you've modeled for them. You can't escape the necessity of proper modeling.

If you want them to be polite in class, you must use the niceties of manners with them. Say "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" when asking them to do things. Don't boss them around like animals.

Never swear unless you want to encourage the kids to swear.

Don't dress like a "pimp" or a "ho" unless you want to encourage that in the kids.

I found in English that I always had to use my best grammar in the class. At first I thought that I could be informal and speak to them the way they spoke to each other. Of course, it backfired. The longer I taught, the more proper my grammar became, and the more I saw the need to model correct usage. (I find that I even use "who" and "whom" correctly outside the classroom, and I've grown to be very conscious of my pronoun cases and subject/verb agreement.)

Believe it or not, your students are hypersensitive to your moods and behaviors. They know how you are feeling, and they know if you're being congruent about your feelings or not. You may use those occasions when you feel terrible, or when you're angry, to model for them appropriate behavior during times of strong emotion. If you lose your temper, they will learn that losing their temper is appropriate. If you are able to express your anger calmly and appropriately, then they will see that that is the way authority figures do it. If you are lazy when you have a certain emotion, then you will model that behavior for them. Work when you feel lazy, and you will teach them to overcome a lack of ambition. It's very important that your students learn that strong emotions are controlled in professional environments.

If you teach them to be rebellious, you can't keep them from rebelling against you. If you constantly complain, you will teach them to be complainers. You really can't escape from the old cliche, "I can't hear what you're saying because your actions are speaking too loudly."

Be a teacher. In all your connections with them, be a teacher. They are craving that. That is the true relationship you hold with them, and they will honor it for the rest of their lives if you honor it now.

Jeff Combe